is the question. Or more specifically, how soon is too soon to FB? One of my beautiful friends recently asked me this, and I found I had no answer. Very unlike me. But it’s a good question, due to both security and the speed of openness in any budding relationship. We know that we should play it safe with those we meet online, so does letting them see your photos and friends comments and status updates constitute piss-poor security? And if they use it to get to ‘know’ you, is it reflective of who you are? And does it then act as a barrier to personal face-to-face bonding, as you make assumptions on one another due to the profile?
In my experience, when it comes to Facebook, men become cyber-stalkers. I don’t know if women do too. I met this absolutely gorgeous Met PC online. He’d said in our emails that I was rather obtuse, so I sent him the link to my Lovescene profile. He was even more intrigued, and we went out. After that, he wanted to be Facebook friends. I accepted him. And then began the annoying. “Are you writing about me?” At the time, I wasn’t. “That wasn’t what happened between us!” I know dearie – it doesn’t refer to you. “I’m taller than that! Waaaah”. Save your drama for your mama boyo. He irritated me too much and so I changed my mind and wrote about him. We only ever had the 1 date, yet he kept on coming back – first in textual conversation where he couldn’t actually believe I seriously didn’t want to go out with him again, then in email where we should both “learn from the mistakes we made”, asking what had happened between us, why it had gone wrong and how hurt he had been.
Sadly, he’s not the only guy that has bombarded me with queries about my Facebook. I accepted an old schoolmate after we’d been chatting on the dating site. Having gone to school with him, I figured he was safe enough to accept and it would be easier than communicating on the dating site. So I was unpleasantly surprised to discover that he was even more of an FB stalker than McMet. Including reposting my photos and texting me at 7am with neurotic questions. ”Am I *insert nickname*? Why are you feeling annoyed with the male species? Who is that guy in the photo with you? What happened on such and such a date?” Fuck off!
I suppose the answer is, wait until you’re ready to take it to the next level. Don’t FB until you’re ready to F. Or even after that. It’s such a faff ‘cleaning up’ your profile – so only do it if you’re sure that person is worth the effort.