… Make me come?
Whether getting back in the saddle after years, or weeks, getting pelvic with a new person is always a nerve-wracking experience, hence the amount of alcohol often consumed. I’m not talking about holiday romances or hazy hook-ups, but about new sex with someone you think ‘maybe….’ about.
I could fill a book analysing, pontificating and surmising the ‘rules’ of new sex – or if they even exist at all – so I’ll go with common sense – use manners and communicate! There’s 3 agendas in the bedroom. Yours, theirs, and your collective one. So to try to make new sex work, you need to talk to one another. The alternative is to use the below – the ‘real’ pre-first time sex questions. But only ask what you are prepared to hear the answers to!
- Is this just sex or something more?
- Will having sex with you satiate this throbbing need I have for you, or will I fall further under your spell?
- How are we going to do this first time round?
- Will you think less of me if I scratch/bite you?
- What do you want from me?
- Can I trust you not to push it too far if we are in private?
- Conversely, if I want you do I have to spell it out explicitly or can you read the signs?
- How much do you want to get to know me?
- Will I be disappointed when it’s over, a la Lily Allen (“it’s not fair”)?
- Do you say anything strange when you come?
- Is this an audition I need to pass?
- Can you really handle me?
- Will you bring all my sexual fantasies to life?
- Will you actually fancy me naked?
- Do you have any erectile dysfunction or psychosexual issues?
- Do you have any STDs?
- Do you have any freaky sexual proclivities?
- Is your cock prettier than others I’ve seen?
Granted the last one might be a bit too far, and leave him and his manhood curled up in a ball (no pun intended). When the time comes, I intend to slip the above into conversation- perhaps after a glass of wine for Dutch courage!
The one question you should never be afraid to raise is about safe sex. It’s just not worth risking until you’ve had ‘that’ conversation.